Our Marriage Was Dead

Who doesn't like a good story? Stories are powerful ways to communicate, entertain, and teach. Stories give us glimpses into other lives, worlds and ways to live. God is writing a story in every single one of us...


Easter is an incredibly powerful time for us, in so many ways. Yes, it is foundational to our faith, knowing that Jesus Christ walked boldly in His humility, fully man and fully God, to allowing His death at the hands of man. Alive, then fully dead, then fully ALIVE. Kinda like our marriage, really. I think back to April 2005, our son Steven submitted his life to Christ on Easter Sunday. It was a time when Scott was living with his girlfriend, not a spark of hope for our marriage from what I could see. Our marriage was pretty dead, you could say, it was in the tomb, and I was living Easter Saturday every day, with the hope that God would raise our marriage back to life.

God Still Raises the Dead to Life

The Easter Sunday of our marriage came in September of 2005. Our divorce was finalized on a Wednesday (on our 14th wedding anniversary, but that's another story for another time), Scott's girlfriend kicked him out on Friday, and in desperation on Sunday morning, Scott relinquished control of his life to Jesus Christ. A new man, Scott sought God's heart, and through His heart, Scott pursued my heart. It was a time of humility, seeking and granting extravagant forgiveness and learning God's plan and purposes for our marriage. As we both drew nearer to God, we drew nearer to each other.

We remarried, and fueled by the relentless redemption in our lives and marriage, a marriage ministry was born as we shared our story.

Sharing our story is an important part of who we are. We tell our story often. When someone asked Corrie Ten Boom why she told her told her story so often, she told them that it was the story God had given her and that she must tell it. God gives us stories to tell, and we must tell them. Why does God call ALL of us to share the story He's given us?

Permission: We learned early in the sharing of our story, that when we share our story, it gives other people permission to share theirs. It empowers them to share their hurts, heartbreaks and wounds they've kept in the dark, fearing that no one would understand things they'd done or had been done to them.

Perspective: Part of sharing our story is to share that we aren't perfect. We didn't do all the right things leading up to a fairy tale wedding in 1991 and then live happily ever after in a perfect marriage. We blew it with each other from the moment we met. We still blow it today...we just do it differently, understanding that we are both sinners married to a sinner, and that we're going to make mistakes. We've learned to seek and grant forgiveness. A lot. The Secrets of Super Husband is a great example of the value of perspective.

Hope: Honest, authentic stories that share real brokenness and real change point to a real God who is still in the business of raising dead things to life. When people hear our story, they hear that through Jesus Christ, there is hope for marriage after adultery, control issues, and alcoholism.

If you haven't heard or read our story, we wanted to share it with you here in a couple of different ways. As we began our relationship with FamilyLife, they wanted to share our story to give others hope, you can read it here: http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/real-stories/marriage/resurrected-marriages/he-led-a-double-life

In July 2012, we had the opportunity to share our story of control, adultery, alcoholism, unforgiveness, and God's great redemption with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine on FamilyLife Today. You can listen to it on FamilyLife's website (where you can download the audio and transcript). Or you can listen to it here:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:


What story God is writing in YOU and YOUR life?

Are you in the Good Friday, Saturday or Easter Sunday of that story? We'd LOVE to hear it! Share it here in a comment or email us at sherry@intentionallyyours.org. We'd love to pray for you through your Good Friday/Saturday, and rejoice with you for your Easter Sunday!

Intentionally Yours is a 501(c)3 organization committed to sharing God's truth, hope and vision for marriage until every home is a godly home. Your donation is more than a tax deduction- it’s a tool to empower us to continue changing lives, marriages, and legacies. Will you partner with us in this mission? Thank you for your support!